Extra Froth: How to Make a Trailer, Torchwood Style!

To: Promotions Department
From: The Powers That Be in the Whoniverse
Re: Trailer

After meeting with the cast and crew at the pub we have determined the best way to advertise the upcoming mini-season of Torchwood. We feel our suggestions are important to not only ramp up interest but also to showcase the best that Torchwood has to offer. Thus we have come up with the following action plan.

1) Introduce the premise. We don't care if it's said by a main character, a guest star or just some random dude. Whatever the basis of the story is should be made clear, without giving everything away.
2) Feature the most important plot point / deus ex machina / literal representation of the title. Make sure whatever brief clip you show also sets the tone for the entire miniseries. As this is Torchwood, the tone should be creepy tinged with suspense.
3) Flash the title. We don't want any rumours going around saying we're calling this mini-series "Jack Harkness and the Pillar of Storgé" or "All's Well That End's Well."
4) Expand the plot. Just like when you introduced the premise, make sure whatever is added here is vague and sounds way more informative than it really is.

5) Make the fandom squee. Insert a shot of a fan favourite character. It does not matter what they are doing. There are bonuses in everyone's pay packet if it incites discussion of what might have just occured to said character.
6) Expand the plot even further. Now that the initial moment of squee is out of the way, the other main characters and guest stars can be featured. All parts of this must ramp up suspense, and make the fandom try to invent ways to make time speed up.

7) Include the falling piano shot. While this is really an internet meme run amok, a character looking upwards while concerned indicates to the audience that danger can come from anywhere. It is also easy to macro, thus making it to popular fandom communities.
8) Interspersing action with mood shots. Suggestions include odd chanting and men in uniform. Neither can be related in any way to Jack Harkness's sexual proclivities.

9) Blow up Gwen. No matter which camp a fan falls into - the pro-Gwen or anti-Gwen - this will get them talking not only about Gwen's safety but also Ianto's as this will lead to the inevitable "OMG WILL SOMEONE DIE!" panic.
10) Needle the fear. Use the previous shot to build onto this one. Make sure it is clear that Ianto is in clear and imminent danger.
11) Add something secretive yet mockable. Make sure that everyone is talking like Torchwood is still some sort of secret agency that must be kept secret, as opposed to something everyone in Cardiff, like a little old lady, discusses on a daily basis.
12) Use a quip. This may only be done by Ianto. It does not matter if his bike has a bell, whether or not the phones work, or being an underappreciated civil servant but it must be quick and quippy.
13) Accompany a montage with the theme tune. Be sure to include running, shooting, action, screaming, something gross, heroic shots of our heroes being heroic, and fire.
14) Appease the fangirls. This means some serious kissing. The shot must also be clear enough to be turned into an icon to be featured on blogs in perpetuity.
15) Repeat the title flash and finish the theme tune. Without giving away too much, you've left the fandom dying for more.

In conclusion, once all this is done, come down to the pub and join us while we toast the tortured fandom that is waiting impatiently for series 3.