*Climbs on soapbox*
Before I go into my usual snark mode, I'd like to address the return of Numb3rs. Now, don't get me wrong, I'm supercalifragilisticexialidociously thrilled that it's coming back (obviously). What I'm not overly thrilled about was how CBS announced it. (Not overly thrilled about is a phrase which here means, rather pissed off and seriously offended.)
In case you're unaware, CBS has forever tied the fate of Numb3rs with the now defunct Without a Trace. It was an either/or situation and the network chose Numb3rs, not because of its success in a less than optimal time slot, or its loyal fan base, or because it's made of awesome
First of all, the lack of enthusiasm by the network just demonstrated why a good portion of the fandom has been bitching about for the last five years. I could, as a fan, and, therefore, not privy to the backroom wheeling and dealing, make the argument that the two best decisions the network ever made for the show were agreeing to re-shoot the pilot that
So if, these decisions were made at the start of the first season, what has happened since? The little midseason replacement that could just kept chugging up the hill. There was little logic in the show that preceded it. For instance, Numb3rs was preceded last season by Moonlight -- which I am in no way dissing because I watched it -- but what do vampires and math have in common? Okay, so we got Flashpoint this year, but that was a one season fluke of shows that should logically precede Numb3rs. Next year, what do we get? We get Medium. I'm not going to comment because this is me being serious, and seriously, if I can't say anything nice about the network...
Anyway, before I digress so far away from my point that I would need to use Google Earth to find it, by letting it leak that Numb3rs was selected over Without a Trace, it does a couple of things. One, it creates a bit of bad will for my show. Does anyone remember the epic battle of fans of Dark Angel versus Firefly fans when the latter got the former's funding and network support? Not that Fox's support means much, as the network suffers from institutionalized goldfish syndrome. (Goldfish syndrome: "why, yes, I support that show entirely, wait, something shiny, let's cancel that show! What was it called again? Ooo, something else that's shiny.") Fortunately, the hate-on isn't as bad as the DA/FF fandom battle, which says a lot about how savvy the WAT fandom is, but it still isn't right that the network sets up Numb3rs to be the scapegoat.
Secondly, it shows how little the network actually pays attention to Numb3rs. I dare CBS to find another show that could not only make 10pm on Fridays a slot to watch, but also consistently be a winner for said time slot. On second thought, I take that back, as they probably would try (and fail).
Thus, boo to CBS for saying our show killed another. Boo for putting a wet blanket over my relief that Numb3rs is coming back another season. Finally, *raspberry noise* for the lack of respect.
*Steps off soapbox*
*Looks for snark. Found it sunning itself outside in the beautiful weather.*
All right, so we all know where we left off in the last eppesode, don't we?
Amita was kidnapped and someone injured Charlie
After a week of heart palpitations, despite my practical side telling me that if Amita was leaving, we so would've heard it through the grapevine, I still wanted my questions answered, ASAP.
There's a brief review of the last scene from the last eppesode, complete with the drums imitating my heartbeat. The review is choppy and imitates the double vision Charlie is experiencing after being whacked on the head by someone who clearly doesn't understand one of the most important rules of Numb3rs.
Charlie, who was just hit in the head, watched his girlfriend get abducted, only to be nearly run over by the baddies as they make their getaway, has way more sense than I ever would.
Charlie blurts out all the information he knows: blue Jeep, tinted windows, licence A33, something, Amita kidnapped. His voice is slurred making me worry that Charlie is seriously injured and all I want to do is give my adorkable professor a hug.
Don tries to find out if Charlie's safe, but Charlie simply starts repeating the information, before passing out.
Don is also far more sensible than I'd be, because he divvies up the work: Athena contacts campus security,the police and traces the Jeep while Artemas round up everyone else, and probably the army too, if Don could swing it.
Cal Sci: There's a brief montage of searching before we go back to Charlie in the parking lot. Now he's conscious and being looked after by the paramedics. The second he sees Don, he leaps out of the ambulance and asks about the search and starts giving Don infor on the suspects. Obviously, that's what he would talk about, given the situation, but I mention it because he's so upset, his voice keeps cracking. I know it's probably wrong of me, but I find that extra adorkable.
All he knows is that one of the kidnappers is definitely a woman, but that's all the information he can give before the conversation is interrupted because the LAPD are chasing the suspect vehicle, right now.
Streets of LA: The Jeep is being chased by the cops, the Fedcakes and a chopper. All I can think is that it would be far easier just to give back Amita.
Eventually, the Jeeps is cornered in a parking garage. I don't know where they thought they were going by driving into parking garage, as there's no way out. Of course, I could not have predicted what was going to happen.
Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are the first on scene, followed quickly by Don and Charlie. It takes both David and Don to hold Charlie back from running to the burning Jeep as everyone is thinking the same thing I kept asking the person with whom I was watching this eppesode.
Spy: (high-pitched and loudly) They didn't just kill Amita, did they? No, they couldn't have killed Amita, right? They can't kill Amita! What are they doing? What about Charlie?
Other person: (eye roll) I didn't write this. Stop asking me.
Spy: (still high-pitched) Sorry.
Still at the parking garage, body bags are being removed, while Charlie insists he should've seen he, implying Amita's all burned and corpsified (technical term). Somehow, I don't think that would've been a great idea, and neither does Don. All Don wants to do is get Charlie home, but Charlie's having none of that. I'm going to side with Don here. Charlie, with his cracking voice and thinking he's just witnessed his girlfriend being blown up, needs to go home and have one hell of a sedative.
I just have to add that I'm being factual here because I'm trying not to get upset as the beginning of this eppesode has managed to upset me every time. Unfortunately, I fail every time we get to the hug.
As Don leaves Charlie to mourn, the Fedcakes try to convince themselves Amita wasn't in the car. There were only two bodies, and even though they were both female, there should've been three people in the Jeep. The problem is, with the chemicals causing the explosing, the Jeep missing one person, and why on earth someone would snatch Amita, there are more questions than answers.
IHOF: Alan and Larry are already waiting for Charlie but the professor has no intention of being coddled right now. He wants to get to work. To be blunt, Alan and Larry are definitely the best people to talk to. Alan knows what it's like to lose the woman he loves, and Larry knows what it's like to have his love kidnapped. Together, they know what Charlie is going through.
Morgue: Liz gets the rundown on both victims. One was white and 180 some odd pounds -- definitely not Amita. The other one was 3 months pregnant and had a shot gun wound, so "unless professor Ramanujan has been out duck hunting with an ex-Vice President."
While it's a relief to know neither victim is Amita, and I did laugh at the crack about the Vice President, it occured to me that it would've been better to start with the statement, "it's not Amita!"
IHOF: Charlie is literally rocking himself back and forth when Larry comes in to comfort him. Poor Charlie's survivor's guilt doesn't have to last much longer because Don and Nikki are much quicker about saying Amita isn't dead than the coroner is.
It's at this point Charlie's mind goes blank. At first, he can't get out a thought, or even a complete sentence. Plus, he has no idea who Irma (one of the dead kidnappers) is.
For once, someone has to explain the math to Charlie, considering the short distance between the abduction point and where the Jeep was spotted, they must've made a stop.
Unable to even explain things mathematically, Charlie walks out.
Larry tries to get the mathematical information from Nikki while Don is focussed on his little brother having a meltdown. It's really sad but all I could think is it's like putting in the substitute players in a World Series game.
I have to focus on the math now, because Charlie's pain is distracting me about as much as it's distracting Don. Thus, we get tossed a Larry-style mathvision, about angels and devils. I think the anlogy is obvious.
But the Fedcakes are the devils in the whole finding Amita problem? Okay, maybe the anology isn't the best, but this is the B team here. Besides, since the whole point is to find out where the kidnappers weren't blocked, and, therefore, where they dropped off Amita before blowing themselves up. He's going to try to do the math without Charlie because Larry's always fancied himself "more a Mycroft than a Dr. Watson."
Oh, Larry, stick to the math because your literary analogies are made of EPIC FAIL. Let me try and prove my point.
Cal Sci: Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are searching for evidence the abductors might've left behind while scoping out the best time to snatch Amita. The first time I saw this eppesode, the situation was so reminiceint of the scene in "Convergence" when the pair of them search for a bullet, that I completely missed what was being said. I wish I had heard it the first time, because it's got to be the most ironic Colby statement, ever.
"You know, I'm not one of those that always needs to be running, and jumping, and kicking in doors or anything but..." Really, Colby? Then now the hell did you wind up with the title Super!Colby?
Of course, David points out that his partner would rather be kicking in doors than trying to track the kidnappers.
So, who would be better suited to track the kidnappers? Where could the Fedcakes get almost superhuman help in a package that is made up of awesome? Is it possible that such help could exist?
Why yes, there is!
Not only has Edgerton found where the kidnapper stood and watched Amita, but also how long Amita was being watched (three days).
The criminal has a really, really strange habit of leaving, what looks like hand made Lincoln logs. Fortunately, this is also the trademark of one criminal in particular.
IHOF: It's Mason Duryea. He's "crazy, violent, and smart." Wow! Sounds like a real catch -- well, at least to the two dead women from the Jeep -- both of whom were his girlfriends, before they got all dead and such. Oh wait, there's more! More girlfriends for Mason, and together they call themselves a tribe.
Wow, since all the women are catches themselves ( runaways, drug addicts, part-time whores -- as opposed to full time with benefits?) I guess they all deserved a fine specimen like Mason. By fine, of course, I mean "crazy, violent, and smart."
Nikki points out the obvious -- Amita is definitely not Mason's type. As for Liz, she wonders what the hell the kablooey (technical term) stuff is all for.
The very practical discussion ends when Charlie, and his pain, which is so great it is a whole other character, interrupts as no one has voiced a reason for taking Amita. Since Charlie's pain is the most oppressive character in the room, no one wants to answer what they're all thinking. If you haven't figured out what they're all thinking -- stay in blissful ignorance.
CI Zone: The reasoning behind this title for Mason's hideout will become evident later. I'd just like to add that it looks a lot like the hanger where the bus was kept in "Jacked," just with a more cultish decor, and more beaten up.
Amita can't get an answer out of either of the women currently dragging her towards Mason. All the women want is for her to be quiet, and the younger one is damn creepy (thus I'll call her Wednesday, just for her damned creepiness), since she justifies silence by "making room for his words."
For the entire commercial break after Mason says, "Hello, Amita," I thought we were going to get a huge back story about Mason and Amita knowing each other once upon a time -- hence the reason he would choose her above all others. It would give some purpose to the otherwise meaningless pot story earlier this season.
IHOF: Don is watching Mason's psych interviews. It's eerily reminiscent of when he watched Colby's interrogation over and over again.
Mason asks the question on everyone's minds. "Is a coyote insane because it eats your poodle?"
I don't know about you, but that question has always bothered me. Really, shouldn't the answer be yes, since poodles and coyotes are really just dogs? It would be like me chowing down on an innocent neighbour but justifying it because said person isn't in my family.
Wow, I was originally planning on mocking the ridiculousness of that question. I was originally going to go into a whole logical thing about how that was probably the question that would eventually give the answer 42. Instead, I wound up with some twisted logic on canine cannibalism. I think I'll stop now.
David does what he does best: give necessary exposition. Mason has an IQ of 155, and spent his time in prison reading Ayn Rand, Nietzsche, and Charles Manson. The inner lit nerd in me rebels at the idea Ayn Rand created a monster. As for all the women around Mason, they all think he's a martyr. Well, that I'm okay with as the whole point of being a martyr is to dead.
Mason blathers on about being put on the cross, in the filmed interview --
CI Zone: -- and in real life!
He's keeping Amita alive to do something extra special. It involves computers andselected Amita based on her magazin write ups and the Baley incident. Thus, he though he "reached out my arm through time and space" and decided Amita would be his "binary messenger."
IHOF: BTW, the Amita thing at the CI Zone was interspersed with Don trying to figure out why Amita, of all people. In other words, his entire purpose was to whack us over the head with the idea that there's more to the selection of Amita than Mason tells us.
In another room, Larry is being hovered over by Artemas, while Athena has to translate Larry telling her partner to back off. Hee! They head off into the field and we head elsewhere in the IHOF.
We're now in the breakroom where Colby's trying to get Charlie to explain the handmade lincoln logs. Charlie tries to hazard a guess, but comes up with the least likely option. It doesn't matter what it is Charlie suggests, it just matters that Charlie can't come up with a reasonable answer.
Colby leaves, but not until after he exchanges a knowing look with Alan, saying what we already know, Charlie's still broken. The problem is, this time Charlie knows it, and is angry at himself for being unable to help. Not only is he unable to help Amita, he's unable to help himself, but also he's unable to help himself. After getting a call from his credit card company, he's so unable to do with the fraudulent use of his card, that Alan has to take the call.
CI Zone: Mason is carving some more lincoln logs, making me wonder if he plans to build his next shelter out of them.
Mirroring what Nikki was doing earlier, he's standing over Amita's shoulder, wanting to know if she's done yet. Amita, not believing that Mason doesn't want to hurt her, asks for her computer, in her office as it'll help with her hacking. It's an obvious set up, but I've got to give Amita credit for trying. In her situation, I'd be a blubbering idiot, so even an obvious attempt to send Mason and his tribe into a trap is better than not trying at all.
Mason responds to the request for Amita's laptop with the story of Rama and Sita, where Sita, after being kidnapped, is rescued by Rama. Mason compares himself to Rama. Yeah, sorry buddy, if anyone is the demon king in this analogy, that would be you, and your creepy tribe of girlfriends.
As Mason describes Amita as "saved," Wednesday watches, completely creeping me out.
The Field: Who knew "the Field" would mean an alleyway, but that's exactly where Larry, Artemas and Athena wind up. Larry's worked out several places where the tribe could've switched Amita into another car, but this alleyway is definitely the best choice. Sure, we could justify that mathematically, or we could justify it through much more reliable means.
Nikki looks up at Edgerton, who has appeared out of nowhere, and asks, "You always got to make your appearance like that?"
Let me see if I can find a way of answering that.
Now, I would like to say one of the many reasons this recap was delayed was to prove or disprove the whole "Edgerton appearing out of nowhere, watching everyone like ceiling cat" theory. Thus, I forced myself to go back and watch every Edgerton eppesode (I know, I am that dedicated) and have can confirm that this happens 9 times over the course of Edgerton's time on Numb3rs. Considering he's only been in 7 eppesodes, that is a rather impressive number.
I would like to add that I included in that count not only when Edgerton spoke, surprising everyone, but also when he would shoot people, surprising everyone.
It's interesting that Edgerton's tracking methods got him to the alleyway before Larry's math.
Inside the building adjoining the alleyway, they find where the other car was waiting, bomb ingredients, and a whole bunch of mannequin parts. There are legs, arms, and heads galore, but no torsos. Either way, torsos or not, I've been afraid of mannequins since watching the start of the New Who.
IHOF: Alan's done with the credit card company and confused by the alleged thief's purchases: a clock, a teapot, a snowboard, and a $275 snow globe. What do all these things have in common? Well, the first thing is that they're the words needed to fix Charlie.
Which causes his to search out his big brother, who is still watching Mason's interview. The other things they have in common is that they're all things that are important to Amita, and are in her office. Charlie explains this all to a very surprised Don, while I'm still amused that Charlie's voice is still cracking with upset.
Cal Sci: Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are given the task of watching Amita's office, and wondering at Amita's ability to talk to Charlie through credit card charges. They have difficulty even believing it. I'm having difficulty believinng that she keeps a snowboard in an office, but, like the Fedcakes, I've learned not to question Charlie.
Colby is also curious about Don watching Mason's interviews repeatedly but all David can think is that the chief Fedcake is on to something.
At that moment, the pair of them watch as Wednesday (real name, Piper St. Joan) breaks into Amita's office. "Why do we ever waste any time doubting Charlie?" Colby asks. I recommend that statement be embroidered on t-shirts and given to the Fedcakes for their birthdays, just as a reminder of what not to do. Imagine the future hilarity.
Fedcake (any of them): Charlie, are you sure this will work?
Charlie: Read your t-shirt.
Fedcake (any of them): Charlie, mathematically, 2+2 cannot equal five!
Charlie: Your t-shirt must be in the wash.
When Wednesday goes to get into the getaway car, the other woman with her, tries to shoot her. David calls out, and adds even more evidence to a theory I'm developing about the harming of girlfriends on Numb3rs, by shooting the other woman in the head.
As Wednesday is arrested, she insists Amita will soon be dead. Oh geez, no one tell Charlie that.
CI Zone: While the trical women are asleep, Amita takes her chances and tries to sneak out, only to be stopped by Mason. She covers it with the classic I need to pee excuse, which, for some reason, inspires Mason to kiss her. Again, Amita shows great restraint as I totally would've kneed him, but that moment of satisfaction probably would've been followed by a shot to the head.
IHOF: Wednesday calls Colby a "zombie with a gun." Colby blows it off because she's said it several times already.
Moving on to a whole new level of crazy, Wednesday believes what Mason's told her, that, "the devil will come with credentials." Really, credentials? I wonder what those would look like.
I guess they would look a little like that.
Explaining away her fellow tribe member's attempt to kill her, Wednesday shows she not only suffers from horrific taste in men, but also from delusions of grandeur. She's convinced the other girl tried to kill her due to jealousy. Yeah, okay, sweetie, whatever you say.
She's also convinced that Amita is dead. Again, sure sweetie, whatever you say.
All the while, Don watches. He clearly has a plan, but doesn't let anyone in on it. All we know, thus far, is that it involves Wednesday focussed on Colby. Somehow, if Mason floats her boat, she might be immune to what the fangirls think is painfully obvious.
Don takes a break from watching the insanity in the interrogation room to check on Charlie. Don's little brother is not doing so well, and takes out his frustration on the chief Fedcake. Charlie tries to get Don to imagine what he would do if Robin were in danger. Personally, I'm going to guess it might end with shooting somebody.
Don's answer, while appeasing my desire for some mention of Robin, is calmly delivered. "...swinging at anything that got in my way... tearing down the city." I forgive Don for sounding so practical because he knows he has to stay calm -- for Charlie. Since Charlie breaks down whenever things are personal, Don knows he's got to stay level headed.
Charlie's pitiful when he asks Don what to do, but Don's answer, "Go to your gut," is just too much temptation for me not to make a crack -- particularly since Charlie walks off immediately afterward.
All I could think was, Charlie's so going to throw up now. That's "going to your gut," isn't it?
The Field: Between Larry, Edgerton, Artemas, and Athena, no one can figure out why the mannequin torsos are missing. Edgerton theorizes they can be used for bombs, but I don't see how the Fedcakes could be suckered into thinking it's a person when the mannequins don't have heads.
They might be slightly alarmed by a whole bunch of headless people. Just saying.
IHOF: The charges on Charlie's credit card are seriously wacky, as David points out. After writing out the numbers from the opening grid, David reminds Charlie what this show is all about. "I think that she's working on that level that you, her, and Larry do when the rest of us are standing around, hands in our pockets, waiting to be pointed in the right direction."
In what is the most un-Charlie like comment ever, Charlie responds, "they're numbers and they don't mean anything to me." WHAT? WHAT? DID I HEAR THAT RIGHT?!
Numbers not meaning anything to Charlie? That's like ceiling cat not seeing what you did there, or Edgerton not being cool, or my disavowing Don and Robin as my OTP. There are just some things in this universe that are not possible!
Recapper's Note: Yes, I am taking into consideration the abomination on my television in the Edgerton = cool equation. If that can't destroy his coolness, nothing can. Of course, it helps that I'm distracted by the half-nakedness of LDP.
Once Charlie takes a moment to calm down, looking at the numbers, he proves that some things are a constant and Charlie, because of Amita's message, is fixed. (Not like that! Fixed as in not broken anymore, not fixed as in, well, fixed.) The numbers do mean something to him -- putting my universe back on the correct slant instead of spiralling toward the sun. He realizes she's sending him to an IP address, which, of course, I felt, in my role as dedicated recapper, I needed to check out.
I was highly disappointed that this wasn't like the online tie-in of Chain Factor.
Well, because Amita is brilliant, now the Fedcakes can see everything she's doing, without Mason knowing a thing.
CI Zone: Amita's suspicious of some rice brought to her, and rightly so, since everyone seems stoned out of their minds (in cult-land, drugs come with the throw pillows).
When Mason starts talking about Amita being a part of something big, he does something so horrific, I can't even talk -- about -- it -- because.
I do not want to know what just happened with "tribal love." I do not want to know what just happened with "tribal love." I do not want to know what just happened with "tribal love."
Mason then goes on to threaten her, as he suspected her sudden but inevitable betrayal. When she tries to apologize for setting up the two members of the tribe by sending them on a fool's errand for her laptop, Mason dismisses it as unnecessary (showing how much he loves his tribe, or not) and tries to feed Amita some of the rice.
Amita responds appropriately, by spitting it back at him.
When he hits her in retribution, I rub my hands together, knowing that Edgerton, Don, or both are so going to shoot this guy.
IHOF: Did you know the bank from last week, that can't even afford an apostrophe, holds 15% of the (fictional) credit card debt in the US? Well, Charlie knows it and knows what Amita needs: help to create a fictional cyber attack on the bank. Even Amita isn't good enough to do it by herself.
Of course, the mention of Farmers' American (apostrophe added by me) makes me worry that something even more terrifying will suddenly appear in this eppesode.
Since Charlie has found the reason Amita was taken, Larry has to contribute something, and it's the solution to the lincoln logs. Instead of building a cute little log cabin, (because, anyone who ever played with those when they were little knows there are never enough to build something really awesome) he builds a burr.
The important thing about a burr puzzle is that when the key piece is pulled, it all falls apart. I think they're trying to imply that this is what will happen when the credit card debt is wiped out, while being all symbolic of what will happen to the Fedcakes and Math Triad if Amita is missing. I mean, I think that's what they're getting at but it's way too
The idea of the weak link making everything fall apart gives Don an idea. He's going to see Mason's weak link, Wednesday.
She's Mason's weak link. She responds by insisting Mason will fight to get her back. She's completely in denial, but the "scoop out your eyeballs and spit in the sockets" bit was rather effective -- if crazy was the image she meant to portray.
There's a weird thing here where Don calls himself the Pharisee, and usually I'm all over religious allegories like heads on platters, or men with bad haircuts on temple pillars, but this one is totally escaping me. In fact, it's so unclear, I've decided to replace Don's "I am the Pharisee" with something that makes way more sense to me.
Wednesday, thinking that Mason will have the upper hand over the Fedcakes, smirks, and promises to draw them a map into hell.
CI Zone: The Fedcakes walk right into an ambush. The tribe has the upper hand, because they know the layout. It doesn't stop Edgerton though, as he is the third best shot in the country and he takes out one of the women within the first couple of seconds.
Inside the compound, Mason is pleased. This is exactly what he was aiming for. He picked Amita to bring the Fedcakes to his door. Of course, his door is loaded with explosives and someone he thinks can erase 15% of the country's credit card debt. He tells Amita that if she doesn't wipe it out, she'll die with the rest of the tribe. Somehow, I'm pretty sure his plan is to make sure she winds up dead with or without her destruction of the economy.
The Fedcakes are stuck at the perimeter, which sucks for everyone but Edgerton, as he could be a couple hunred of meters away and still plaster Mason's brains all over the floor. He finds a nice place to perch, while the rest of the Fedcakes try to avoid exploding mannequin torsos. Okay, Exploding Mannequin Torsos is so the name for a punk band. Feel free to use it, just credit me.
Thinking about the dummies, I'd like to know how they all have heads when the heads were clearly left back in the other bomb lab?
All the while, Edgerton watches, above the action.
The Fedcakes toss the Tribe a phone, while the Tribe puts more creepy mannequin bombs all over the place. It's not like it matters because Mason is too deep in his whole lions in the Coliseum analogy, to realize that one cult shootout after some violent killings is enough to even make it on the news any more.
Plus, all he wants is 15 minutes. It's a ridiculous request since there's no way Amita can accomplish what needs to be done in that time. When she confronts him with that reality, it's obvious his overwhelming confidence slips just a little.
Instead of asking for more time, he threatens Amita. Yeah, that'll work. What did Larry say earlier about the lack of correlation between being watched intensely and accomplishing tasks?
Fortunately, Charlie can make it look like she's done as she was told. Don also has something else that can help, after watching the interviews 230948234 (actual number) times, he's sure that the last thing Mason wants to do is blow himself up. So, what do you call a cult leader willing to let everyone else die for his beliefs, yet not willing to die himself?
Larry's also made an interesting discovery -- like a burr puzzle, there's a weak link in Mason's protection -- except Mason wants to use it to get out, not let the Fedcakes in.
As the Fedcakes head back inside, Don leaves Nikki in charge of the phone. I am not kidding. Don left Nikki to negotiate with Mason if he calls again. Usually, I don't question Don's decisions but this time, I just have to ask about how wise it is to leave the phone with someone who would be likely to say, "So, dickwad, how about you come out here so I can show you tribal love Kung Fu style?"
The Fedcakes weave their way around the safe route, allowing the audience a chance to indulge its Kevlar fetish and Don to do his best impression of a dog.
There's a brief exchange of fire before the tribe barricades itself behind the bombs. They do it so well, that even the third (I'm sure he must've moved up by now) best shot in the country can't empty Mason's brain pan.
In the van, Charlie's stuck. All the communicating thus far has been one-sided and all Charlie wants to do is talk back. Thus we get what I think is the latest Charlie realization in an eppesode, ever.
Right now, we don't know what he's realized. All we know is that it involves Edgerton, so I'm guessing it involves shooting Mason. Strangely, I'm all for that.
Inside, the faux-Farmer's American screens come up, giving Mason the idea that Amita's succeeded. As the numbers disappear, Mason rejoices, by happily going to prison. He figures people will sing about him, write books about him, and, most importantly, make t-shirts with his face on it.
This is too much even for his most loyal members of the tribe, and Mason tries to explain that those who died, really died for the message.
"Yeah. The message on t-shirts." After being abducted, terrified, forced to listen to Mason's drivel, while trying to perform the impossible hack, Amita can still pwn him. I think she's earned the right to design that t-shirt. Geez, I wonder what it would say?
At that moment, Charlie does what he's wanted to do all along, and talks back. His message is short, sweet, and seriously to the point. It's also great advice that Amita immediately follows.
And Edgerton takes out both Mason and another armed member of the tribe. Thus, it adds more evidence to my theory, which, as this is a show about math, I decided to prove with pie charts.
Considering the history of Coral, Crystal, and now Mason, I think my theory is sound.
I have to admit, I am a little surprised Edgerton didn't kill Mason. Was there some sort of purpose to not killing him and it got edited out?
The tribe is arrested. Don checks on Amita. I remember that I have the maturity level of a 12 year old.
Considering how Amita's held it together, I almost feel guilty awarding her the last NPALTM of the season. Note the word "almost" in that last sentence.
"My book will be called Two Days With the Computer Illiterate."
Well, besides inspiring me to call the home of the tribe CI Zone, with all the passion Navi Rawat had delivering that line, the actual wording is, well, lame. For that reason, it wins the final NPALTM of the season.
Don escorts Amita out, but it's the reunion with Charlie that brought forth a million sighs from the Charmita fans.
The dialogue is silenced, and as Charmita hold each other, the Fedcakes take their leave.
IHOF: Liz, Larry, Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are having a celebratory cup of coffee, while trying not to fall asleep on the floor of the IHOF. The most impressed with himself, is Larry, which is a little surprising because he's helped on cases before.
I would like to address something that I said at the beginning of the season.
Okay, so I’m going to chicken out here and not make a decision on Nikki Betancourt just yet. I’m going to let Edgerton do it for me. He’s cool enough that if he declares that Nikki is good, I will accept it.Nikki's heading out for the night, and Liz is all excited that she might be able to tag along for some alcohol, but wait! This is not the type of out for a drink where one wants a third wheel. Well, I was looking for Edgerton to make a ruling on Nikki and I guess I'm going to have to accept it.
I would like to add that this new development has been woefully underrepresented in post-finale fanfic.
What hasn't been woefully underrepresented is the Colby/Edgerton slash that has been appearing, on and off, since Colby described Edgerton as "the bastard son of Clint Eastwood and Yoda" with a tone of admiration. Liz plays on this little quirky part of the fandom by teasing Colby, "I always thought he had his eyes on you."
While Lize, David and Larry have some fun poking at Colby's inability to deflect that statement, I would like to point out what this scene proves. It proves that some intern, or someone even higher than an intern, has been paying close attention to the fandom. I point this out because I would like that person to bloody well notice I exist so that I can finally have my shout out, world peace, and a pony! I'm, not asking for much here!
La Maison d'Eppes: I have to admit, I was very surprised at how well everyone got through this eppesode.
This scene makes me momentarily annoyed with Alan as he recaps the entire season. "What a year. You get stabbed. Charlie gets shot at. You both nearly lose your jobs. And if I was to inventory it, its train crashes, your escaped convicts, your serial killers, bank robbers --"
Hey Alan, meet me in the screencap below. I have something to say to you.
Besides, those wouldn't have been the events I would've selected. What about the accidental haircut? What about eppesodes made of awesome? What about Liz getting her own eppesode? People thinking Don and Hello Kitty go together? Finally, how about my OTP? You see, Alan, you're just mentioning the big events. I'm mentioning the ones that amused me most. Since this is my recap, you can't stop me.
But since, as Don points out, Amita's alive because Alan dealt with the credit card company when Charlie was not functioning, I can forgive him, this once.
The scene ends with Don figuring out the destination to his spiritual journey. It's all about how people need each other (although, I think Nikki has someone else looking out for her now). "Wherever God is, I'm pretty sure it's in how we're there for each other."
Cal Sci: Why on Earth Charmita would choose to be at Cal Sci, instead of either at home, resting, or any place else where they weren't brutally attacked two days earlier, I cannot understand.
There's a lot of talk about how Amita believed in Charlie, even when he didn't believe in himself. He brings it back to the idea of predicting his own future, as he felt he couldn't do just before she was kidnapped. Instead of being afraid of it being wrong about it, as he was in the last eppesode, now it just makes certain things more clear.
Everywhere around me, glass starts shattering. The internet goes nuts. I have to cover my ears from the squeeing.
We've been expecting this to happen. Amita's been talking about it for the latter part of this season. What I didn't expect was that the squeeing wasn't going to be the loudest fan response of the season.
Again, while I don't think the place from where she was abducted makes for the best proposal site, despite how the art director probably wet himself over how pretty it would look -- it's not fair we're left with that cliffhanger over the summer. I say cliffhanger because, if you look at Amita's face when he first asks, we might have some serious issues, come the fall.
Thus, we're left worrying about the state of Charmita (I have to admit, that's way better than worrying about the state of my OTP -- for me), and wondering about what TPTB are going to bring us in the fall.
Since I have the forum to do so, I would just like to express some of my humble wishes.
- Amita's answer
- Don & Robin, forever!
- Edgerton to be abducted from the Stargate universe a couple of times.
- I wish wish for the return return of Ray-Ray
MY SHOUT OUT, WORLD PEACE, AND PONY!
I will accept nothing less.
Okay, yes I will. In lieu of my pony, a little respect for the midseason replacement that could, from the network, would suffice.
I'm sticking to my demands for a shout out and world peace.