Instacap: Numb3rs: Growin' Up (Eppesode 615)

Mandy Hampton, is that you?

Honestly, I don't want to think about what else Larry would do, alone, in the desert.

Gunfire already? Is this a Gyllenhaal eppesode?

I want to know (about the non-Cambridge fantasy). So do the fanfic writers.

Hey, talk about a wasted opportunity for the previously superfluous DNA model that was in Charlie's old office!

The horny boss versus RocketMan. This will be epic.

Charlie's breasts are sore? I can see that as prompt next month.

LIZ, DO NOT LET CHARLIE HAMSTER-SIT!!!!!!!

I'll bite, why does David have a comb?

I still say that account is for porn, and dolls is his codeword.

The weak dollar is your first reason not to get married overseas, Charlie?

DID NOT WANT TO SEE THAT!

Duck season-rabbit seasons, Numb3rs style.

Yeah, the honour talk, creeping me out, considering the topic.

Why does Mandy Hampton get to film this? Better yet, why are Nikki and Liz not beating her to the ground?

Did not want to see that, either!

WTF?! TOMORROW?!?!?!?! But I don't have a dress (or an invite) yet!

Instacap: Numb3rs: Scratch (Eppesode 611)

An almost entirely onomatopoeic instacap:

Hum.

Eek.

SQUEE!!!!

GRR!!!ARG!!!

duh dun duh dun.

WTFWW?

SQUEE!!!!

Hee!

Ah-ha.

Ow.

Le sigh.

Uh-oh.

*gigglesnort*

Hmmmm.

Pwned.

hehehehehee

SQUEE!!!

Ahhhhhh.

Pwnedx2.

Instacap: Numb3rs: Con Job: (Eppesode 609)

Out of all eppesodes, "Jacked" needed the sequel?

Alan, you old dog.

Hey we've got Liz and Amita!

Okay, it's not exactly a jewellery store. Does Buckley ever get anything completely right?

Okay, Buckley deleted all the man's porn -- in prison? Bad, bad plan.

Charmita is way too excited about the man in the middle attack.

Buckley, Liz will kill you. In fact, after that handcuff crack, she should kill you.

Yeah, well, I want a shout out, world peace and a pony, Buckley. We all have to live with disappointment.

No fair! Buckley got his ice cream!

Okay, apparently Liz agrees with me that Buckley's full of shit.

Liz, punch Buckley, please.

Why does Buckley get a Buckley-vision?

Aya Sumika is so pretty. I might have to hate her more.

Charmita, never, ever, take Buckley's advice.

Oh, continuity and Alan's FBI file. I love you.

I'm starting to think that Fisher Stevens was given carte blanche to do whatever he wanted.

Okay, so the person I wanted to shoot Buckley didn't shoot Buckley, and someone else did. That wasn't exactly how I wanted it to happen.

Dude, even I saw that coming!

Bright light used on Numb3rs! OMG!

Smells like Buckley? I don't want to know what that is.

Yes, David watches pageants because of the world peace aspect. Yeah. Sure.

I wonder, how did Don know that it was you, Buckley? Geez.

Traditional cop and doughnut joke. Not overly original there.

You had a spy, well, not theoriginalspy!

Costa Rica and scorpions, I'm sure that's on their travel brochures.

There has to be some twist coming up here.

Oh, Buckley, you are funny.

Buckley's in Liechtenstein? Hee! That's a fun word to say

Goodnight Sam. Goodnight Ralph.

Instacap: Numb3rs: Dreamland (Eppesode 606)

Goathart base? Does George Clooney stare at it?

Is Department 44 the American Torchwood? Although, it was created 13 years earlier.

X-files reference. The x-phile in me swoons.

Agent Mulder -- sorry Nikki, Liz would be Scully.

David needs a career day at the IHOF.

Otto Bahnhoff? His parents clearly hated him?

Otto & Floyd need their own comedy show. It could be called the Lone Punman.

I think Floyd owns Zoolander's cell phone.

Charlie's blue shirt is pretty on him.

Being blown up would kill you. It's a valid cause of death.

Well, if those contracts with aliens come up, someone tell Torchwood. If they have contracts with the afterlife, tell Ianto to not be dead!

I am not asking where Floyd kept that flashlight.

Didn't we have a faux-alien eppesode, in season 1? I recapped that!

Actually, Floyd, you apppear to be freaking nutzoid -- technical term.

It's Margaret's birthday. Take not of that, FF authors, for accurate details.

Please let Alan be hinting about Robin.

OMG, it's the aliens with the black oil! Sorry, I regress into my old x-phile.

Charlie, I applaud you for not peeing yourself.

How much better would this eppesode be if Liz were in it?

The designers are welders, the welders are blaming the electricians, and the kneebone's connected to the leg bone.

Yes, engineers are that deluded.

Strange aerial craft don't kill engineers. Engineers kill engineers.

David cannot go to DC. David cannot go to DC! DAVID CANNOT GO TO DC!

DAVID CANNOT GO TO DC!!!

Don, listen to David. He is wise and not going to DC.

Meddling kids! Off in the Mystery Van next, and wouldn't Don look good dressed like Fred? The question is, who would you cast as the rest of the Scooby-gang?

Instacap: Numb3rs: Where Credit's Due (Eppesode 604)

Oh, dead guy in a box. Nothing will spoil the mood more.

Okay, strike that, Larry walking in might spoil the mood more.

Iceland, Greece, Austrailia, Italy -- I missed one. I should've recited them like Dory from Finding Nemo.

Description of the mummification, that might be even worse for the mood.

Bixcel Street? Is that movie called Bixcel Street? As in the Bixcel Street Boys from "Checkmate"

You know who else is in "Checkmate?" Take a wild guess. In fact, I'll give you a hint, I'm about to seriously whine if I don;t see said person soon. (No, I've not seriously whined yet.)

Charlie teaching Alan is going to end up the same way I think Charlie's hand is going to wind up with that nail.

Sullivan's Travels? Oh continuity, I love you. Do we all remember the last time that film was mentioned? Oh yeah, I mean it about the whining.

No, that's Bixel Street -- like that's going to throw me off.

Liz has an able-bodied hamster? I think we need name suggestions for Liz's hamster.

Washer/dryer and satellite is all this guy needs for heaven? Talk about your low standards.

The screenwriter's hair requires its own credit. It's a character all on its own.

STOP WITH THE SOFT-FILTERED LENS!

Okay, Charlie is cock-blocked a second time by Larry.

Crap. Liz Warner, why are you so pretty? *seethes with envy*

Slowest motorcycle chase ever.

David, you really work that suit.

Like we didn't see the douchebag not being a cinematic genius.

Claiming it was dark on this show isn't an excuse! It's always dark on this show!

I guess Tyson didn't learn, they send the FBI to deal with copyright issues like this.

SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I feel better.

The poor, neglected hamster, whatever his name is.

Only Alan could get a job like that.

Alan you cannot move out of La Maison d'Eppes.

Goodbye Larry music video complete with CGI stars.

Instacap: Numb3rs: Friendly Fire (Eppesode 602)

Originally, I wasn't going to instacap this, but the last five minutes of the eppesode required a response. Actually, this is an instacap light, since I have only one thing to say.

Dear slashers,

It was lovely to know you. You will be missed since all of your heads just exploded at the Rosencrantz & Guildenstern, I mean Rosencrantz/Guildenstern, date.

Love,
Spy.

PS: HEE! I love my show for going there.

Instacap: Numb3rs: Hangman (Eppesode 601)

Are you celebrating my birthday Be Kind To David Day on October 12th?

Charlie, there are times to calculate the velocity of the bullets, and times to crap your pants. This is one of the latter times. (A time to crap is in Ecclesiastes, right?)

Umm, a sniper with no guarantee of Edgerton? I'm feeling sort of ripped off here. Strike that. Remove the words "sort of."

Charmita: together they make one crappy liar.

And the Geneva thing -- is that how we're without Larry for months?

Bad Mike Brady! Bad!

Larry, I want to see you run screaming from the room!

Apparently, the memo went out that we needed scruffier men this year.

Liz, you're looking rather beautiful this year: by beautiful, I mean freaking gorgeous, and I hate you.

OMG, Charlie, could you be a worse liar? I mean, could you?

Firecrackers? Seriously? This guy clearly does not want to kill anyone.

Colby, sorry, you're hot, but I wouldn't vote for you either.

Global, why do you keep showing me House previews. A happy House is not a home unless it's with Wilson.

Yes, I have come to the decision. Liz, I hate you. It's not fair one person got so much pretty.

Charlie, that phone call is one hell of a BIG DEAL.

Okay, so I'm going to need to keep a count of bullets in this eppesode. I actually had to look up that this eppesode wasn't directed by Stephen Gyllenhaal, because he usually does all the shoot-outs.

Oh David, have I mentioned you are awesome? Wait, I gave you my birthday your own day, so I guess that says it all!

Well, Mr. Brady is a killer, and Colby will smite him down.

WHAT IS UP WITH ALL THE CORRECT SPELLING? MY SUSPENSION OF DISBELIEF IS BROKEN!

Okay, so I didn't see the whole calling for permission to marry thing coming. I guess they're slightly better at keeping secrets than I thought.

Suggestion for the end of Charlie's letter: PS: Spy, this is your shout out so DROP IT!

Have done everything short of spamming to make Numb3rs a Twitter trending topic. Okay, so perhaps it was spam-lite.

Instacap: Torchwood Children of Earth: Day One

Originally, I thought I wouldn't be able to post instacaps for Torchwood: Children of Earth because of the lack of immediate access. I was going to wait until July 20th, when it would air here in Canada, but well, for as long as it lasted, I was able to watch the first episode online. Thus, I only have one thing to say.

Bless the people who put it up all over YouTube.

Now, this is the only one I will do an instacap for, and, instead, will post percolated recaps when the episodes air over here, legally.

• Gwen saying good morning to the picture is so sweet. Aww.
• The Jantoness is making me very, very happy.
• 6 minutes in, and I'm not sure that Tupperware line can be beaten.
• I said this won't be spoilery, but yay for Martha!
• Jack, when will you learn that Ianto is one for commitment! That is a rare and special thing.
• Could totally do without the screaming.
• OMG, I think Gwen has found a consistent character. Who knew! It's a miracle! Although, could you have left out that offensive adoption line.
• Yes, Rhys, you are brilliant. Torchwood needs some practicality.
• Um, did Rhys just spend an entire episode in his pants?
• The politicians aren't doing it for me. Plus, they're evil.
• Okay, so Jack and Ianto are collecting what now?
• Totally did not see that coming. This is what not reading spoilers does to me.
• Ianto's brother-in-law needs to take a long walk off a short dock, right now.
• Not the TTSUV! Give it back you pasty, mooning, gits!
• Gwen is what? This does not bode well for Ianto's survival. I see unfortunate symbolism rearing it's ugly head!
• Okay, who knew computer scanners could tell if you're pregnant? My scanner barely scans.
• Damn you, BFF, for making me worry about my fictional Welsh boyfriend!
• Holy hell.
• Ew. ew. ew. ew. ew. ew. ew
• I think that kiss just killed me.
  
• Yes, Jack you are a couple, no matter how much you hate the word.
• Is this how Jack becomes a head in a jar?
• That was awesome.

Instacap: Torchwood: The Dead Line (Radio Play)

Uhhh -- I thought Jack couldn't die. Well, he couldn't die for a long, long time, at least.

Poor Ianto, he sounds so worried. He needs a hug and I'm totally offering.

Jack's on a ventilator in a hospital room and non-responsive. None of this is the least bit funny.

Were the only people who didn't know Jack couldn't die his coworkers in the first season?

Whoever Stella is, she's our only hope.

Bob Roberts? Isn't that like naming someone Andy Andrews, Jimmy James or Rich Richards?

Phone calls are incapacitating people? Help, all the teenagers on the planet will be affected! How will fast food joints stay in business. Oh wait, they're talking about classic phones, so all is fine.

Jack, there is always, always time for coffee.

What is a happy clappy? It sounds sort of dirty.

Don't give up on Bob, it sounds like a weird advert campaign slogan.

Jack, you did get trendy, in 1942.

How many of you didn't picture Jack during the disco era? Isn't that something we'd want to see?

RHYS!!!!!!!!!!!

Gwen, why are you calling Rhys on the phone to tell him not to answer the phone? I'm glad Rhys also realizes that this is strange.

"It was the 70's, the movies were so bad, making out was guaranteed." Hee!

And now my head is filled with images of Jack and Ianto role-playing the 70s. I wonder what Ianto would look like with a Mexican mustache and sideburns.
Okay, so Stella Courtney is an important doctor with a penchant for role playing. I know people have layers, and sometimes, Torchwood reveals the ones that we usually don't talk about.

Hello, the 70s called, and they want to stop being the butt of everyone's decade jokes.

Ianto, seriously, free hugs here.

On the other hand, if ever there was a man who would is best suited to be sitting at his lover's bedside, it's Ianto Jones.

There's more Janto in this radio play in 15 minutes than there was in the other three all put together.

That's it. It's time to bring back carrier pigeons.

Rhys, you are so wonderful. If Travellingone didn't already claim you as her fictional Welsh boyfriend, I'd claim you.

Oh, now it's into the mobile phones, now people who think they're so important that they have to be connected 24 hours a day, will discover the true meaning of "reach out and touch somone."

How did Stella avoid getting retconned?

Rhys and Gwen investigating? The comic potential is infinite.

Considering the motif of Role-play, I think Rhys would be for the idea of Gwen dressing up as Lara Croft.

And the comedic potential disappears after the decomposing corpse is found.

The Cardiff and West Building Society is trying to destroy everyone?

Ianto is breaking my heart. The lack of Janto in the other three radio plays is more than made up for by the speech Ianto gives while Jack's in the trance.

Squee. The Jantoness just made my year.

And just in case anyone thought Ianto didn't get the whole picture of his conmplicated relationship with Jack, his speech just cleared that up.

Ianto, if you're foreshadowing your impending death in "Children of Earth," I will not be speaking to you. Are we clear?

Rhys just referenced zombies. Check that off my list of things I wanted to hear in Torchwood.

Why didn't Torchwood Cardiff pick up on this earlier? They had 34 years!

Ianto might have some competition for the best bedside boyfriend ever, with Tyler. He's had 34 years of helping to care for a girl he didn't even get the chance to ask out.

September 24, 1976 is when this all started? See, the 70s wasn't good for anyone.

I'm sorry, but if Jack was ringing the phone with his brain, the phone message would be "hey, whatever you want to do, trust me, I've got experience."

They're going to destroy the phone virus with the MRI? That's the second time in the Whoniverse that I know of where the MRI has come in handy.

Somebody nearly knocked over Gwen and Rhys! They better not have taken out the TTSUV!

Ianto's been in this predicament before. They whole "my lover or the world" thing is going to get old hat if it happens again.

Stella is sort of awesome.

Thank you Stella, for saving us from the tales of the 70s.

"You never will be just a blip in time, Ianto Jones, not for me." I think I just melted into a puddle of fangirly goo.

Instacap: Torchwood: Golden Age (Radio Play)

Okay, who wasn't hoping Jack and Ianto were playing naked hide and go seek at the beginning?

All right, one major advantage of radio plays is the ability to claim to be anywhere in the world.

Gwen and Ianto, maybe no one is following your instruction because they don't speak English.

The factory vanished? Did anyone ask the Judoon?

There's a Torchwood India?

Yes, Jack, the Duchess did miss you. She was aiming for your head but hit the wall by accident.

I love how Gwen and Ianto are so blase about someone shooting at Jack.

"Would I lie to you, again?" I think the answer would be yes.

Why is the Duchess a) young and b) bitchy towards Gwen? Seriously, if I'm finding her bitchy towards Gwen, the Duchess must be really obnoxious.

Hee! Obligatory Whoniverse banana reference!

Gissing may be happy to see Ianto properly dressed, but I want to see him properly undressed. Oh wait, I said that out loud, didn't I?

Duchess, back away from Jack. He's Ianto's.

Oh look, jingoistic ideals are alive and well.

I mean it, Duchess, back off.

So Jack, what does Ianto assist you with? Please explain, in detail, for those of us without active imaginations.

Onions in bomb proof metal containers? Yeah, how stupid does Torchwood India think Torchwood Cardiff is?

Duchess, 80+ years is a little long to be holding a grudge. I know no one has aged in all those years, but perhaps a bit of perspective might've been possible.

Jack's going to feel "a lot less special?" Is that possible for a man with an ego larger than the British Empire at its height?

Duchess, the 21st not the 20th Century is when everything changed. Haven't you listened to the opening?

Curse your sudden but inevitable betrayal, Torchwood India. Of course you have alien tech. You're also really, really racist and sort of crazy.

It's been February 29th, 1924 for the last 80+ years?

Finally, from the lack of snark yesterday, the Gwen and Ianto exchange makes it better.

Jack knows how to use a time store and uses it to keep a bacon sandwich fresh? That's what he does with it?

Soylent Green Time Store is people!

"If I wanted to be knocked out and murdered, I would've stayed at home." Hee. I love you, my fictional Welsh boyfriend.

Duchess, I believe the term best to describe you is fucking nutzoid.

The shadows better spit out my Ianto!

If there's one thing the Whoniverse taught me, it's that time isn't quite the straight line Jack makes it out to be.

The saving of the world depends entirely on a man remembering birthdays? Insert your own joke here.

How is the Duchess dying the least bit noble? She's dead because she hated progress. I'll try to work up some sympathy. I'll let you know when I feel sad about it.

It might be a while.

Now, Torchwood, head back to Cardiff.

Instacap: Torchwood: Asylum (Radio Play)

Woot! Anything Torchwood vastly improves Canada Day.

Okay, why is the child, carrying the weird gun, semi-narrating?

PC Andy? Oh, PC Andy, I love you.

The suggestion of knife throwing at Gwen just made half the fandom smile.

All right, Freda, while everything is over-loud and over-bright, I'd like to point out that you're overacting.

Ghosties? Sounds like a rejected cereal name.

Jack and Ianto in the TTSUV and a remote control gun? There's a dirty joke in here somewhere.

Ianto, shouldn't you know by now that Jack gets far too easily distracted by guns?

Hello pussycat? I guess a Tom Jones reference is appropriate for a show set in Wales.

51 Lundy Street? I can find a Lundy Close and Lundy Island, but no Lundy Street. Either Google Maps is wrong, or TPTB are saving anyone from being bothers by Whovian fans taking picture of the address.

PC Andy, where did your snark go? You've never been a "pet bobby" before.

"She's from the future!" No shit, PC Andy Sherlock. Glad you caught up.

Jack and Ianto are spending a lot of time together, and yet there's a distinct lack of sexual harassment. I am disappointed.

2069? There's another dirty joke waiting to be made there.

Where Freda's from the people are "overstressed, angry, gotta take it out on someone." Wait, she's from where I work?

PC Andy, do you not remember "Adrift?" You're in a remarkably similar situation -- until Freda escapes out the window.

Out of all episodes to reference, Gwen, you had to pick "Out of Time?"

Yes, Andy, this is smash your patience day. In Canada, we call that Canada Day, after the drunken carousing begins.

Holy crap, PC Andy isn't exactly behaving like PC Andy. I don't know what disappoints me more, the lack of Janto, or this neutered version of PC Andy.

WTF did Jack do?

Finally, PC Andy stands up for himself. That's the snarky, practical PC Andy I know.

Oh Freda's talking about how she doesn't belong anywhere. Great, just turn on a Simple Plan song and put on some eyeliner, emo child. I guess PC Andy is a better choice to talk her down than I would be.

Torchwood saved Freda? I'm glad that was made clear, otherwise I would've thought it was the Doctor.

Jack's responsible? Does not compute.

Jack, you've already opened your doors to the universe and spread the love. It's not like you wouldn't be doing what you haven't already done in the past.

So Torchwood gets an asylum policy, unless your name is Janet.

Instacap: Numb3rs: Greatest Hits (Eppesode 522)

Okay, Charlie, this is getting a little unhealthy. By little, I mean seriously, seriously unhealthy.

No pressure with those letters, Charlie. By no pressure, I mean a shitload.

Sorry, Nikki, Charlie was a better psychic, last week. Speaking of last week, where's the recap for the 100th eppesode? Oh yes, completely buried under five years of continuity. I'm digging it out, very, very slowly. My brain hurts.

Oh, look, the Fonz is back. Oh, and shut up, Fonz. You did it all to yourself.

I know exactly why Charlie doesn't want to write the letter, and can say so in one word: anomoly.

Oh, Colby, you sound like an idiot in your reasoning even if it's painfully obvious that the Fonz is a red herring.

Robin mention! SQUEE!!!!

Colby, do you mind terribly working out your daddy issues with a more worthy character? Do you need to be reminded about the 10 million dollars?

Hey, the Fonz is giving us meta-commentary on the interrogation process.

Oh, invoking Don's protectiveness from Charlie is it, Fonzie. We're done, you and I. Don't call. Don't write, and no, I wouldn't even accept world peace and a pony from you.

I still think Charlie's just looking for excuses to not spend that much time with a dictionary.

Geez, Stephen Gyllenhaal loves his shootouts.

Colby, shut up. By shut up, I mean shut the fuck up.

Bank robber newsletter? Would it be written on a bank slip and stuck under your door by shifty looking people?

Colby, you and your spy (not Theoriginalspy!) ways are in no way comparable to this loser.

Charlie, are you? Really? I mean, you're finally getting to that point where you can ask? You're building up to it, aren't you? OMG! I'M SO HAPPY FOR YOU! I'm waiting for the screams from the fandom and --

Wow. That was one hell of a let down. I can't imagine how Amita must be feeling.

I don't care if you are the Fonz. Do not cut off one of Charlie's metaphors!

Is it just me or are the regular partners completely split apart in this one?

Just had a deja vu moment over what I said about the shootouts.

The Fonz saved the fire extinguisher of DOOM.

Oh, painfully awkward scene -- the Fonz and Colby and the father-son moment.

Oh, character factoid -- Don's room was a mess when he was 15. This may sound like an obvious character trait, but let me tell you, my room wasn't a mess until I moved out of my parents' house.

What a sweet brothers Eppes moment.

The office is definitely nicer than any apartment I've ever had.

Hold on, Amita screwed up? Can we talk about the let down from earlier?

OMG, is Amita going to take the bull by the horns and just do it herself --

OMGWTFAMITANO!

Okay, that music in the last scene, totally weird considering. Usually the music gives me some sort of foreshadowing.

Instacap: Numb3rs: Disturbed (100th Eppesode!)

Before it begins, I'm all excited like a little kid. Congratulations midseason replacement that could! I'm so proud!

Holy crap, will need to rewatch pilot 210948234 times.

Charlie's using Alien math.

Why is Don sleeping on a couch and where the heck is Robin?

Dead mailman? I predict the local nasty dog.

Hey, it's like a one man Lone Gunman, and no, that's not a mistake

Yay for Canadian reference but boo it's not about me!

Hey, prism, I remember you!

Charlie's office is like a little kid's mobile of math, just more, well, crazy.

Seriously, need to rewatch the pilot.

I love your hair too, Charlie!

David-vision, identical to a Charlie-vision from five seasons ago. Aww.

Okay, I think Charlie has a fanboy.

That is one creepy-ass serial killer.

Well, I guess data analysis is better than drinking or gambling.

Mmm, wet Eppes.

AND STILL NO SHOUT OUT.

POLL NOTICE: If you noticed any references, and are one of the people who said you might help out your poor, beleaguered recapper who might be crushed under the continuity, please comment on this post.

Also, since the last poll is closed, I've moved on to something even more serious, for the next poll question.

Instacap: Numb3rs: The Fifth Man (Eppesode 520)

Charlie's moving offices? Is it because this one's darker? It is, isn't it?

Boxes=chalkboards. Well, I guess anything is math worthy for Charlie just like everything is Crayola worthy for a toddler.

Rosencrantz & Guildenstern are reunited.

Don? NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Okay, I wasn't spoiled for the specifics so I was totally surprised he was stabbed, not shot.

For about 2 minutes, I thought Robin wasn't going to be in this eppesode. That would not have been good. Trust me, my future recap got a lot less whiny when I saw Michelle Nolden on the opening credits.

Charlie & Nikki: dueling guilt.

Again, with the bad teachers. Doesn't Numb3rs have an educational program? Seriously, stop picking on the teachers.

As soon as the doctor sounds hopeful, Don crashes?! Bad Doctor, do you not know the first rule of TV hospitals is never say the patient will be fine when he's hooked up to a heart monitor that can make a continuous beep?

Angry Colby is angry.

Alan singing St. Pepper's? I would pay to see that.

The fifth man is the target and living in safe houses? Huh?

Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are bickering.

Oh, the motive is sort of valid. Note the sort of.

Hey hey, Ray-Ray made the key key!

What is Alan reading?

Don's awake? Where's Robin?

Dear Charlie, if you do the decoy thing your adorkableness will not make up for -- damn, apparently you really don't listen to my warnings.

At least Charlie brought along all the Fedcakes, with laser sights.

Hello Kitty? Hello Kitty? HELLO FUCKING KITTY?

I've just invented a new game. Throw the dart at the Hello Kitty balloon.

Okay, seriously not enough Robin for me. Yes, I'm biased.

No preview for the 100th eppesode? Bite me, Global.

Instacap: Numb3rs: Animal Rites (Eppesode 519)

Okay, I don't care if this makes me a bad person, but I cannot watch animals being hurt on screen. Run puppies, run!

Numb3rs poker? We've done that before. Larry was in space at the time.

Hey, it's Polly Walker, the original Mrs. Collins in the original and awesometastic State of Play. John Simm rocks!

Poor Charlie, want a hug? I'm offering.

Charmita is seriously creeped out.

Monkey! Like ninjas, they're always a good time.

And just like in State of Play, Polly Walker's character is playing both sides.

The kid is 17? That makes my skin crawl.

They blew up Cal Sci?

Hey, look, it's an ad for the American State of Play. Someone needs to tell Helen Mirren that there's no way she can be as scene-chewingly amazing as Bill Nighy in that part.

I believe the technical term for having multiple handles is obvious douchebag.

Hey, it's the puppy from the lab. Hey, he can't be released into the wild. He needs to be pampered and petted for the rest of his life for being so cute. Sorry, that's my theory of how one should treat dogs. Yes, I have given up my seat to make a dog more comfortable.

Eek. Crazy kid is crazy.

I'm glad she's trying to save the kid and all, but Polly Walker's character in this eppesode is as frustratingly obtuse as Anne Collins.

Not touching the comment about Hindu there.

Nikki is Sarah? Huh? I thought she was Bianca.

Is it bad I'm a little surprised when crazy kid asks Nikki who to kill, she didn't answer, "yourself?" Is it?

Puppy saves the day!

POLLY WALKER, YOU ARE NOT MEGAN!

Random tennis game of Artemas and Athena against Amita and Polly Walker? Huh?

Instacap: Primeval: Episode 14 (Episode 301)

I have no idea how I managed to see this before it aired over in North America. That's my line and I'm sticking to it.

Is it weird that the opening scene is giving me flashbacks of both Stargate and "Blink" at the same time?

Oh hell, have I mentioned before that dinosaurs scare the crap out of me? Remind me again why I watch a show with the one thing that gives me nightmares.

New, new opening pictures. Umm, who are these new people and why haven't they figured out a way to bring the scorching hot Stephen back from the dead? This new guy, Becker, is doing nothing for me.

At least some things are still the same, like Lester's amusing assholiness. "You'll be dealing with a highly strung and and temperamental team of rank amateurs who just happen to be brilliant at what they do." Best all time Lester quote, ever. Okay, maybe his next line about Cutter is his best. Maybe he's just competing with himself.

Okay, what that that tour guide, Sarah, just did is what every tour guide wishes they ould do to a group of snotty school children.

Stephen Hart flashbacks as seen through the devastated Cutter. What slashy bits?

Hey it's not!Claudia Brown asking Cutter out to dinner, to try and distract me from the slash. Dinner plans are interrupted by a curator becoming dinner.

I think the Rex and breakfast thing is the equivalent of someone tossing your pet on your bed when you refuse to wake up, just with more CGI.

Connor has a phobia of museums?

Almost getting eaten by something prehistoric: aka, Primeval hazing.

Christine Johnson, anyone who scares Lester is more than welcome on this show.

Sarah, you're either being ironic of a bit of a crazy bitch. I'm not too sure I like you.

Second Stephen reference.

Eating people is a bit of a dramatic reaction to a parking ticket.

Connor's bad luck bites him in the ass. Literally.

If the creature went into the Thames, why worry? The water will kill it.

Okay, is Christine this season's Leek, just with better hair?

Eek, BOB! (Bunch of Bob, or Dave as he's also known as.)

Saved by convenient lighting! Sarah's just coming across as more and more useless and looking useless next to Connor (sometimes) is quite the feat.

Faux Egyptian gods cannot live without their eggs and bacon in the morning.

Do all prehistoric creatures know how to use an elevator? First Rex now this dude.

I love not! Claudia in damage control mode. BTW, not!Claudia looks a lot more like Claudia this season.

Wasn't the new guy supposed to stick to the team like glue. EPIC FAIL on day one, since Cutter's jumping out a window while tied to a hose.

And an entire exhibit full of priceless artifacts are destroyed to save one prehistoric crocodile that is homesick.

I wouldn't bow either.

Okay, so it is a creature with megalomania. Bob would not be amused.

Sarah, scaring Connor in the middle of an anomaly investigation isn't as funny as you think it is. I don't care if your one not useless idea was a good one.

Third Stephen reference.

Crap, one decent idea and now she's part of the team. Well, at least I have someone to take things out on when I'm having a lousy day. Oh yeah, and those trousers she's been wearing all episode, do not fit her properly. Any woman out there recognizes "the waist is too short and I'm chafing" walk.

Lester sounds far too pleased that the culture minister gets to decide where the sun cage is going to provide new food for the beasts.

Hello again, fugly dude, and Helen. Ready to do some evil with whatever the hell that thing is you've got?

And now it'll all be about legends.

Instacap: Numb3rs: First Law (Eppesode 7)

1) Hello Joshua. Sorry, just dated myself, didn't I?
2) Umm, did I just catch them in another serious basic math error in two weeks?
3) Who is this woman trying to split up the Eppes boys?
4) Okay, bitch, Megan could KICK YOUR ASS. In fact, I'd like to see that. I don't care about your history with Larry.
5) All right, iGod was the first computer I ever had a conversation with.
6) Baley doesn't like Charlie? That's okay, I do and I'm real.
7) So, after passing the Turing test you're alive? I know plenty of people who can't compose poetry or discuss the nature of life. Does that mean they aren't alive? Seriously?
8) Seriously bitch, stay away from Charlie.
9) Listen to Larry Charlie, he knows it's wrong.
10) So does Don.
11) The wife is super creepy.
12) Hopefully they were building the 6 million dollar man and not T-1000.
13) Baley just wants to be heard.
14) OH SHIT!
15) HELL NO!
16) AHHHHHHHH!!!!!!
17) Phew.
18) The best all time quote machine and they didn't name it after me? Seriously offended now.
19) Second open door crack in a month? Come on.
20) I knew that woman was creepy.
21) I still want a smart home.
22) Larry & Don standing between bitch and Charlie. Hee!
23) History analogy war! Yay! I'm such a geek.
24) Coach Eppes? Really? They went there?
25) Well that sure as hell wasn't Asimov's first law.

Instacap: Numb3rs: Cover Me (Eppesode 516)

1) Hey, Rob Morrow directed this one! Yay for diversification as long as it doesn't mean ever leaving the show!

2) It's a Liz eppesode! Who knew I would ever be this happy to have a Liz eppesode?

3) Yes, as happy as I am that David's left in charge of her safety, I would like Artemis to back up Athena on this one too!

4) Oh Colby, no you would not look that good in that outfit.

5) This guy so has a crush on Liz. It's about time she found someone else.

6) Charlie was valedictorian of Don's high school class? Ouch.

7) Holy crap, where does Liz buy her underwear? It's so pretty. I doubt she's wearing a wire in that. Oh, screw it, I want Liz's wardrobe in this eppesode.

8) Liz, don't be stupid. Seriously, don't be stupid here.

9) Haven't won a game since 1986? That's got to be a record.

10) I'm so glad that Cam didn't turn out to be a baddie.

11) Amita, you are so sucking up to your future father-in-law. Good for you.

12) Aww, Cam's trying to save Liz, and David's all protective too. Everyone loves Liz (not like that, in David's case.)

13) Vests are good things. Now get yourself to a drug rehab, get out, and make liz happy (just like that).

14) Of course David would move up. If he didn't I would whine. I don't take kindly to people dissing my BFFedcake.

15) Amita wants a ring. Alan wants Amita to have a ring. I want not to be hit on the head by a 2x4.

16) Pillow fight! Hee! I shouldn't find this as attractive as I do, should I?

Instacap: Numb3rs: Guilt Trip (Eppesode 515)

Recapper's Note: This Instacap was delayed a whole 48 minutes due to the recapper's sudden inability to properly code the percolated recap that preceded it. *headdesk*

1) Robin! SQUEEEEE!!!!!!!!

2) It's Spike, no Captain John, no Spike, no Captain John, no Spike, No Captain John, no Spike, no Captain John, no Spike, No Captain John -

3) 12 Angry Jurors. Hee!

4) Alan must be my Facebook friend! He can friend me here!

5) How hard would it have been to throw in a Rosencrantz and Guildenstern reference when Charlie did the coin toss analogy? Seriously PTB, how hard?

6) That password wasn't what I think it was, was it?

7) Note to self and fandom: Ice cream works.

8) Don values David. Aw.

9) Yes, Colby, you are a beefcake, uh, roast beef.

10) Charlie's trying to fix the planet? What's that I smell? It's got an aroma of P vs. NP.

Instacap: Numb3rs: Sneakerhead (Eppesode 514)

1) This totally wins as the funniest eppesode ever!

2) LIZ CANNOT LEAVE! Phew, she's not, but the old boots metaphor might require me to mock her, forever. I look forward to it.

3) Who knew I'd ever be saying 2, but here I am, desperate to keep Artemis and Athena together.

4) Like last year, when I thought I was going to hate everything about Three 6 Mafia on Numb3rs, I expected to hate Eve. Just like last year's stunt casting, it didn't feel like stunt casting. I should respect my show's decisions more often.

5) Do I even need to say anything about Bit o Nutz? I mean, really what can one say that isn't obvious, plus Nikki stole my thunder when it comes to obvious jokes.

6) The lab assistants cut the lawn. Oh, that is priceless.

7) I love how we're now told where the characters are when they're gone to avoid the panic of a couple of years ago when David and Colby seemed to disappear (separately).

8) I don't know if that kid wins at life or should be told to be patient for his b-day present. Seriously, my parents would've killed me if I'd taken my presents early, thus defeating the purpose for presents.

9) Okay, the majority of the Global TV feed was out of sync with sound. Bad Global, no cookie! Seriously, it's bad enough not to get the CBS feed and the awesome promos that come with it, but then to screw up the transmission? Come on!

10) I don't know about sneakers, but if this had been about designer pumps, my BFF would've resorted to all the tactics seen in tonight's eppesode.