Friday, March 12, 2010

Extra Froth: Numb3rs: A Poetic Tribute to the Finale

(Tonight's horrific abuse homage to a classic work is brought to you by the CBS stations holding off on airing the finale, for sports' reasons, and to avoid the spoiling of others.)

The light was shining on TV,
Shining with all its might:
It did it's very best to make
The Numb3rs sets all bright --
And this was very odd because,
WTF, Numb3rs sets and light?

The fandom's sitting sulkily,
And they really want to shun
Almost all and sundry at CBS
After tonight's show is done --
"It was very rude of them," they said,
"To come and spoil the fun."

The bowl was lit as lit can be,
And wit was wry as wry.
You could not see Super!Colby, because
No Super!Colby was in the sky:
No feds were flying overhead,
There were no Super!Feds to fly.

The Fandom and the Recapper
Were walking close at hand.
They wept like anything to see
Such a cast disband
"If we got one more season,"
They said, "it would be grand."

"If 7 feds over 7 seasons
Could be kept for one more year,
Do you suppose," the Fandom said,
"Our subliminal message would be clear?"
"I doubt it," said the Recapper,
But still puts one more 7 here.

"O Executives, come and walk with us!"
The Fandom did beseech.
"A pleasant walk, a pleasant talk,
Through the internet's reach:
We cannot ask more than your time
To listen to our speech."

The chief exec looked at them,
But never a word she said:
The chief exec winked her eye,
And shook her heavy head --
Meaning to say she did not choose
To ease the fandom's dread.

But for the fandom, they cried out,
Even suggested a tasty treat
They wrote, they hoped, their spirits up,
They felt they could not be beat.
And this wasn't very odd because, you know,
They hadn't met with defeat!

For some execs, still followed them,
And they knows what's for;
And saw the protests on the web
But wait, there's more, and more, and more!
And if they pay attention,
Then the Fandom, will adore.

The Fandom and the Recapper
Chatted for another hour or so
And then left messages at
Conveniently set up just so:
All the Fandom's plans are there,
As well as fears and woe.

"The time has come," the Fandom said,
"To talk of many things:
Of shoes, and ships, and stealing tax,
Of broccoli cabbages -- and kings --
And why Don is so smoking hot,
And whether David has wings.

"But wait a bit," the execs cried.
"Before we have our chat;
For some of us are still writing our protests,
And your letters are rather fat."
"No hurry," said the Recapper,
"For something as important as that."

"A singular plan," the Fandom said,
"Is what we chiefly need:
Rosencrantz and Guildenstern aside,
Are very good indeed --
Now if you're ready, execs dear,
We can begin to plead."

"But not at us!" The execs cried,
Turning a little blue.
"After all those letters, that would be
A dismal thing to do!"
"But the show is fine," the Fandom said,
"As we do admire the view."

"It was so kind of you to come!
And it is such a lark!"
The Recapper said nothing but
Typed up some more snark.
I wish though, influential blogger's
Views weren't quite so dark.

"It seems a shame," the Fandom said,
"And we think it's a cruel trick.
After cutting the order of eppesodes
And the season ending so quick!"
The Recapper said, "And what about my OTP?
About romance, Don can be thick!"

"I weep for Fedcakes," the Fandom said:
"I deeply sympathize."
We sobs and tears, they listened to,
The smart, the brave, the wise.
And found their favourite eppesodes
On the DVDs they prize.

"O execs," said the Recapper,
"Sure, we've had a pleasant run,
But could we not give it one more go?"
But the answer came there none --
And this was scarcely odd because
They don't know if the show is done.

Recapper's disclaimer: I would never assume to know what others' think in a given situation. This is all meant in good fun!


  1. I just watched the eppesode. TV hugging was involved. Great poem :)

  2. Okay, that's awesome. :)

  3. If only CBS advertised before like they did this week (loved how they did this finale finally here- uh, we didn't WANT the finale NOW), here wouldn't be any reason for this poem. Thank you Spy for this and all the recaps you have done.

  4. Thank you, Louisa Carroll!! It is a great eppesode and all I could think at the end was that Spy would be so happy through her tears. You haven't gotten to see it yet?? That's terrible.

  5. They just HAVE to renew! How will I live without your recaps?

  6. *sob* That very beautiful and excellent episode came off as too much of a farewell.

  7. that was the most complete finale I have ever seen.

    Not only did they make it clear it's over, but they basically killed it off so it cannot be revived in the future.

    They may as well have killed the characters, but they didn't want to enrage the fanbase, I suppose.

    Charlie and Amita: gone to a different continent
    David: going across the country. Maybe he'll find Megan.
    Don: Leaving his job to take some other position, which obviously destroys the purpose of the show.

    All the main characters gone in one episode.

    Scrubs and 24 are also ending this year. I'll have very little left to watch on TV.

  8. I am so glad I found you again as I missed your recaps.

    However I am pissed that the show could not manage one shout out to you!

  9. I have been searching your recaps and I am dying to know what OTP stands for! I know it is your name for the good ship Don/Robin...but I can't find the first time you used it. Please end my suffering!

  10. @Amy: It means One True Pairing -- the 'ship one ships more than any other 'ship.

    And Don/Robin -- my OTP for ALL TIME!

  11. I had a dream....I turned on NCIS and they "had" to work with the FBI. Neither Fornell nor Sacks were around, so they met someone new to DC. The gang at NCIS were to find why many in LA (well, Texas, Canada, and elsewhere for that matter), speak of this nice looking Fedcake as SuperDavid. Tony has this strange feeling he's met this guy, but can't figure it out, could be some dark angel messing with him in some other city.

    Now, of course SuperDavid's best friend and former crime fighting partner is visiting and asked to help out. Magee has some strange connection to SuperColby as if they went to the same school, but Colby never went to MIT. Go figure!

    Also, lending a hand is former FBI agent Megan and Abby takes an immediate liking to her as if they have known each other for a long, long time.

    Also tagging along is Megan's boyfriend. He's a bit quirky but Gibbs has a little hope for him, even though Larry keeps thinking he's in Chicago!

    The case is solved as they are able to catch the spy (not theoriginalspy as is pointed out) while he is sending a pony to Canada named World Peace.

    Now that it is over, the fedcase and friends rush back to LA for a fantabulous wedding.

  12. Entertainment Online is hosting it's Save One Show contest and Numb3rs is on the list...


  13. RTH - I agree that it was a very complete finale, but I don't think they made it impossible for the show to go on.

    * Charlie and Amita will be back in the US in three months
    * Don hasn't been going into the field much since his stabbing anyway. Most of his scenes have been in the FBI, at home, or other administrative settings. He's no longer the go-to action hero, so I can see him being special agent in charge and still working with Charlie and interacting with the team.
    * Liz was going to leave the team to head something up and she stayed. David could decide to do something similar. Heck, an anti-corruption squad in LA even.

  14. I can find no other way to contact Spy, so I'm leaving a comment here: please do not stop writing, even though (sadly) Numb3rs is gone. I've enjoyed your snark; oh, forget the subtletly, I totally ROFLOLed in it. And I want to do it again some time soon. Please?

  15. I totally second what Anonymous just said! I miss your funny recaps so much! Please pick a new show to recap.

  16. Just saw Colby guest starring in Bones Season 6 premiere.