Before we begin, I would just like to say, (and this is not meant to be derogatory towards the actor, just the character
Thus, the next time I see Roger Bloom (Because, there will be a next time, even if I have to send in 10937823 letters to CBS myself --which, could get costly, but is worth it), I expect that eppesode to also feature Edgerton, doing what he does best.
Fedcake Federal Reserve Raid / IHOF: Ah, the easiest way to know an eppesode will begin with a bang, is the sight of Fedcakes in Kevlar. Hell, Colby's even in uniform. Charmita's watching via vid feed at the IHOF. We even get a reference back to what is still my favourite eppesode of season 1. I think some higher power is trying to get on my good side, by reminding me about everything else that is awesome about this show, before inflicting me with Bloom.
Oh, and speaking of the Charm School Boys, the current robbers have learned from the epic failure of that less than merry band of thieves, and have tried to set up a red herring pattern. But, fear not, Charlie and his great mathematical divinations, have seen through that cunning plan and sent the Fedcakes to watch the Federal Reserve truck.
This whole development is enough to make David start chewing gum out of nervousness. Who knew comforting behaviours were infectious? Of course, this could be another example of David trying to model himself after Don, which we saw earlier in the season.
Judging by the overwhelming evidence of how often Charlie has been right in the past, I agree with the professor. The hail of gunfire might also be a huge clue, but really, it's my faith in Charlie.
After a lot of prop bullets, and dry ice disguised as tear gas were expended in the name of art, the Fedcakes win, not only because of Charlie and his math, but also, they had two secret weapons.
The second is Don, who was undercover as one of the drivers. Nikki jokes that his uniform makes him look like an Eagle Scout. For me, it's not the uniform, but the gas mask that reminds me of something else.
I know, I know, I shouldn't get my verses mixed up, but I can't control myself whenever a gas mask is shown.
IHOF: The Fedcakes are counting the money, but not in the way I think one should count it.
The machine keeps having trouble with old bills, but all these bills have something in common: and it's not, even though they're all from 1969, that they saw Woodstock. Nope, when Charlie (after calculating the odds that 4 bills from '69 would make it to 2009) checks the serial numbers, the FBI computer pops out a former character on Prison Break.
Unlike Amita, I knew the story of the original DB Cooper, but just in case everyone needs a review of the hijacking-parachuting invisible ransoming Cooper, here it is.
The exposition continues, and we're given a more detailed account of the DB Cooper crime. David, fulfilling Larry's role of conspiracy theorist, doesn't tote the party line that Cooper died in his ill-advised parachute jump into a rainstorm over a forest of trees, and Charlie quickly agrees with him, but for mathematical reasons. He calls the original calculation "mathematical fondue," and this leaves me with one question: since when did fondue go out of style?
The one things they can rule out is the robbers' involvement with the DB Cooper money. Despite getting arrested, and probably going to prison where they'll meet Big Sal, they think the whole Cooper connection is cool, unlike fondue.
So let me get this straight, by Numb3rs' standards, DB Cooper is cool but fondue, which has its heyday around the same time DB Cooper was jumping out of an airplane, isn't cool. Now I'm just confused.
As Nikki reports to Don that the money's been exposed to hot, dry air, and drywall -- which, correct me if I'm wrong -- could be just about anywhere in California, Colby's got even more exciting news. He's found out who investigated the case, way back in 71: Roger Bloom.
The phones in the IHOF go nuts, as someone leaked the DB Cooper connection to the blogs. Well, at least I can be all self-righteous and say that it wasn't my blog that leaked it. First of all, I'm not part of the fictional world where Fedcakes run around in Kevlar, inspiring fanfic. Secondly, I would've noticed if I'd finally gotten my shout out.
Nikki and Colby take off before the press deluge of the IHOF, but in what has to be the cutest team moment of the year, thus far, Nikki shoves Colby back into his chair to get a head start. I admit, I giggled, just like Nikki. Yes, Nikki giggled at that too. I guess her inner five year old, like mine, isn't quite so inner.
Bloom's: It's 6:30 the next morning, and Roger Bloom is in his bathrobe pondering how only Fedcakes arrive that early. I'm glad he only pondered on Fedcakes and not other people that randomly show up at 6:30 in the morning, for other reasons. No, I'm not apologizing for saying that. I had that unfortunate thought the third time I watched this eppesode, and I had to share my pain.
At first, Bloom's reluctant to help, because he's always Mr. Pouty McPoutypants, until Colby points out that the shiny new security consulting firm would get a lot (a phrase which here means shitload) of publicity if Bloom was involved with the solving of the DB Cooper case.
Thus Bloom has to take the time to explain the Numb3rs stamp on the DB Cooper legend. The hijacker actually got away with about a million, and the FBI found a corpse in a tree, not far from where it was calculated DB Cooper would land. See, sometime math, even if it is fondue math, produces results, even if it is a little cheesy.
The corpse in the tree (which so sounds like the title of an episode of Bones, doesn't it?) was one Eddie Sawyer, thief, Vietnam paratrooper, and suspected accomplice of DB Cooper. How does Bloom know Sawyer wasn't DB Cooper? It's unlikely Sawyer would stab himself, and then jump out of a plane.
Cal Sci: David's looking for a favour from Amita (not like that). He has a date to the symphony and needs help buying a suit. Apparently, he thinks all hist suits make him look too much like a Fedcake. I'd like to argue that point.
Listing all the people at the office, David implies that Liz is the only one he could've asked for advice, and he's probably right. Besides, imagine Colby's reaction when he finds out David's going on a date with someone else? (And now, I shall leave the rest of that speculation to talented fiction writers.)
Amita agrees to help, and not tell the little sister of the Fedcakes, Nikki.
Fedcake Federal Reserve Raid: Don learns there NO POSSIBLE WAY TO HIDE THAT MONEY, which, of course , means there's a way to hide that money somehow, and the only person who could've done it, is Wesley Till, the armoured car driver. The problem is, Wesley's been given a week off, due to the whole shooting and tear gas thing. Rather reasonable, I say.
Don doesn't think so, as his team was also in the vicinity of tear gas, and they're still working. I choose to leave that point alone.
Math Garage: Bloom is helping Charlie justify pulling out all of Don's old toys, and calculate the place DB Cooper went smuck into a grove of trees. Even the fondue math is right, and Cooper should be a pile of goo, the world's ugliest tree decoration, or a cannibal's fondue.
When Alan first arrives, Bloom ignores him, which is better than what he does shortly. All Charlie and Bloom can focus on is the idea that since no one saw Cooper jump, perhaps he didn't jump when they said he jumped because, let's think about that -- no one saw it.
This sets Alan back to his nostalgic getting arrested at sit-ins hippie days, when planes were hijacked all the time, and, how Cooper wound up as an anti-establishment folk hero, simply because he wasn't caught by the one thing so many people hated at the time -- the feds.
Cue the diatribe against what Alan wasn't talking about -- the disrespect for the people who died serving their country and following orders in Vietnam. Um, Bloom, I don't think Alan was talking about that. Alan even made a point about dividing up the "country" from the "establishment." Now, I know there's a slippery slope here as there is an unfortunate history for those who served in Vietnam, but no matter what Alan's opinions at the time, he's certainly not implying that here. I'm just saying that Bloom getting all snippy is a little out of order here.
Besides we were talking about folk heroes who steal money. There's a serious historical precedent here for people who go against the government and become outlaws. Robin Hood has had many a legend and
Thank heavens for Charlie and his phobia of conflict, as he breaks up the argument before I crawl through the screen and squash Bloom like the annoying bug he is. Since no one saw Cooper jump, there was plenty of terrain only minutes later what would've been far less likely to result with a man impaled on a tree.
Since everything and everyone has to revolve around Bloom, he snarks about Alan's hero surviving and stomps out. Good, perhaps he'll take his ball and go home and GET THE HELL OUT OF THE SHOW!
Till's: Nikki and David get the job of interviewing the armoured car driver, which gives David another chance to shine at exposition. DB was actually a mistake in a newspaper that just got repeated. The thief actually called himself Dan Cooper, which also happened to be the name of a French comic book hero. Well, if there's one thing David should know, it's the comic world.
OR DOES HE???
As much as this pains me to say, my BFFedcake is equivocating. After extensive research
This was clearly an insult against me. Yes, I am Canadian, with the accent to prove it, and that the part of the story David left out. (Sure, he also left out the part about the Belgian author, but, by Bloom's Victimology, the other details do not matter.) Therefore, by leaving out that small, almost irrelevant detail, and Bloom's twisted logic, I'm allowed to be miffed throughout the rest of this eppesode.
Oh wait, other important things are happening -- like Wesley Till getting all corpsified on the floor, David finding where the Cooper money was hidden, and someone pointing a gun at David's head.
Fortunately, Nikki has excellent timing, and the gun-wielding man, who claims he's Ray Till, the dead driver's uncle. I don't believe him. I think he's a Cylon. My theory is proven valid by the events of this eppesode.
Nikki and David have the yucky job of informing Till (a phrase which here means, showing Till the bloody corpse of his nephew) about the death of poor Wesley. Till is typically stoic (a word which here means a CYLON).
IHOF: Till muses about how amazingly awesomesauce his nephew was. Wesley didn't care about money, didn't own a television, healed the sick, walked on water, and always ate the red smarties last. He was that kind of man. As for Till, He's surprised to have outlived his nephew, because he's got cancer.
Finally, because we need to know everything about this seemingly unimportant
Out in the bullpen, David theorizes that Wesley was taking in the DB Cooper money, bit by bit, and exchanging it for the money that was supposed to be destroy. You see, his boss said they only counted his personal cash -- they didn't check the serial numbers. It was the only way to still make money off of cash that everyone (and their uncle, the cylon) has been looking for.
While this could work, it dosn't explain why there's still over 700 thousand missing. We have plenty of time to ignore that little detail, because Nikki might have something even bigger: Uncle Ray, the former paratrooper, is a good candidate for DB Cooper. It's the most rational explanation we've had thus far about how the hijacker could've survived the jump. It's hard to kill a cylon.
Nikki bets Rosencrantz and Guildenstern two burritos from the vending machine, that her theory is correct. You know, if I made that bet, I'd lose on purpose to avoid some nasty food poisoning.
In the midst of this investigation, Amita arrives, ready to go through some potential date-suit options with David. I think she missed the subtext from earlier which was if she picks it out, he will wear it.
Cal Sci: Charlie's having difficulty believing that Cooper survived, or would even try the whole stunt, considering the likelihood he would get all deadified. We get a Charlie-vision comparing Cooper a mouse who practically tap dances in front of an owl saying "eat me" because the risk wasn't worth the reward.
That is, as Don points out, unless Cooper just liked risky things. Or, of course, is a cylon.
For some reason the talk of adrenaline junkies is used as a segue for Charlie to relate the asshatishness of Bloom in regards to Alan. Now, personally, I don't think one needs a segue to relate when someone is that big of an asshole towards one's father, but the awkwardness of this lead in was nothing in comparison to the shock I felt about what happened next.
Don sided with Bloom.
All right, so since Alan wasn't talking about Bloom being a baby-killer, nor was he degrading any soldier's sacrifice during the war, and only talked about the government, Bloom still gets to go off on an unprovoked tangent? Don, you're clearly being used to try and show both sides of the argument, and it would be valid, if that had been the original topic of the discussion. Nope, instead, Bloom made it what Bloom always makes things about, whatever the hell it is he wants and screw the logic, thus voiding any wrong doing on Alan's part.
While I could rant about Bloom and his dumb-assery for the better part of a season 7, let me just sum up by saying that men like this should not be allowed to carry guns, ever.
IHOF: Well, now Vietnam is really in it, as Wesley Till kept sending money to a flower shop in an area nicknamed "Little Saigon." Thinking of Saigon, could we have a Miss Saigon moment where a helicopter swoops down, and takes Bloom away?
Also, the corpse that was found in the tree, shortly after the initial hijacking, was a member of Till senior's unit -- a unit accused of war crimes against a small, defenseless village.
Most important, it looks like Nikki's going to win the bet. She could totally turn it around on the boys by making them eat it, which would be far more dangerous than other eating games I've seen on other shows I love -- like "Mystery Crisper," for instance.
Public Library: Rosencrantz and Guildenstern commit the epic fail of stealthy surveillance.
David's surprised that anyone in the era of the wireless series of tubes, would ever use microfilm. Of course, he also thinks the mountains (where Till has been living) have internet service.
"I'm going to take you camping, if only for entertainment value," Colby snarks at his partner.
Now, that is what Colby said. That is not what some parts of the fandom heard. I believe it was more, "I'm going to take you camping, if only for the plot bunnies."
As Till leaves, and David heads off to get the car, Colby does something I didn't think was possible in a Bloom eppesode, earns the NPAL™. Believe me, not awarding it Bloom, hurts.
So, what does Colby do to cause me a great deal of mental pain? When asking the librarian (who thinks very highly of Till) for all the microfilms of old papers the suspect was looking at, the librarian innocently asks, "Do you have a library card?"
"Uh, I've been meaning to get one," Colby responds. Colby's you've been there for how long and you don't have a library card? You do realize that there is a serious correlation between hotness and reading for most women right? Colby Granger, you've just become a great disappointment.
I'll stop now before I start asking questions about what kind of role model he is now.
Flower Shop: On the way in, Bloom advises Nikki to be all deferential and polite, as it's rude to insult a shop owner in their own shop, in Vietnamese culture. Funny, I thought that was a universal standard.
That lasts for naught point two seconds, as Bloom digs into the owner, Tina, about receiving money from persons unknown. She snarks back that she had checked everything out, and even had a letter from the bank to avoid IRS issues. She gives the letter to Nikki, because Bloom is an ass.
It took me a moment, to realize where I recognized the actress from, and she's one of those actresses that's been in so much, it's hard to pinpoint. Well, hard for most people, for me, I'm going to refer to her as the character that not only introduced the actress to me, but also has a very interesting connection to my BFFedcake. That character: Brin, from Dark Angel.
Outisde, Nikki is impressed at Brin's ability to stonewall, and unimpressed at Bloom's ability to behave like a well-mannered human being.
He tries to make up for it by suggesting they go get some delicious Vietnamese food. I wish Edgerton would suddenly show up.
Epic Fail Stakeout: Rosencrantz and Guildenstern watch Till go into a bar. Unfortunately, that's not the start of a joke unless killing someone in said bar tickles your sense of humour.
IHOF: Till's victim was Wesley's killer. No one seems too torn up about that, but the Fedcakes are curious as to how Till solved the case before they did. Again, cylon.
Till's claiming the killer shot first, but again, no one really cares, particularly Bloom, as all he wants to talk about is the war. Till was the one who reported his unit for the massacre, and the results of which ruined his career. Funny, for all the vitriol Bloom spit at Alan earlier, Bloom doesn't do much for making the majority of the people in Vietnam sound heroic. He's far more derisive than Alan could ever have been. That's just Bloom though, change opinions mid-stream, to be able to sound more self-righteous.
Finally, someone who doesn't give a crap about Bloom's bullshit, Till will have none of it. They can either hold him or let him go, and the Fedcakes really don't have that much, since the bartender backs up the story that killer shot first. The problem is, that everyone wants to solve a classic case like this, so Bloom has an idea.
Let Till go. Whatever, I like Till better anyway.
With the Fedcakes dispersing, Don tries to have a talk with Bloom about the earlier argument with Alan. I've recorded the *headdesk* worthy justification here.
"I follow the rules all the time
Don does not respond as I hoped.
Instead, we get the story of when Don was 15 and made fun of someone in the neighbourhood, Alan got all appropriately parental, and taught Don not to disrespect others. Now, if only Alan could do that for Bloom.
The next morning, Amita is showing David her fashion choices, all of which happen to be in the boot of her car.
Since Beatles' classic isn't exactly David's style, he's wondering more about a pinstripe, or tweed. Amita's wondering why he came to her for advice in the first place, and Colby's wondering WTF is going on.
Crime scene: The real mastermind of the heist has returned to the bar where his partner was shot, to drink to his memory. That, or be really, really convenient for the Fedcakes to find.
Rosencrantz and Guildentern warn the Big Baddie (BB for short) that Till is out there, and he might just come after BB. Although, if anything does happen to Till, like getting dead, or a piano falling on his head, the Fedcakes will be there to arrest BB.
Happy Christmas music plays as the partners stroll out of the bar. Oh appropriately used irony, I love you.
Restaurant: Alan's still fuming over Bloom and I want to give him (Alan, not Bloom) a hug. Really, Alan, the king of Dipshitland doesn't deserve this level of thought. He's angry that Bloom wouldn't even listen to Alan's rational, and at the time, innocently random, thought.
And then it happens. It's like a disease with these characters. First Colby, and now, Amita, defends Bloom. Because I'm not the rational and kind person Alan is, I don't care what Amita has to say from this point on in the scene.
Amita at least acknoledges she's lost some daughter-in-law points. She's lost some snarky-recapper points too.
Charlie, who was wise to stay out of it, and know that Don is the odd person out in the family Eppes, starts fumbling through his pockets for a method of payment. Hmm, I wonder what geniuses carry in their pockets.
After that moment of humour, Amita goes back to being practical and semi-cool (full coolness will return when we're an eppesode out of her defending Bloom) and suggests Charlie pay with his Cal Sci ID -- as many nearby restaurants accept it. The concept of alternative cards causes Charlie to run out without paying, leaving Amita to do so. Considering the number of times throughout this series he's run out on her after having a brilliant idea, she's got to be used to it at this point.
IHOF: Poor Matt Li's been stuck examining the microfilms. That's like making a world class chef cook with a microwave.
He's hoping that Charlie will come up with an algorithm. At this point, that phrase has become such a euphemism, I giggle like an immature teen-aged girl. David tries to make him feel better by regaling him with the tale of the time David had to crawl through the sewers while his boss went to the beach. No wonder David wanted that promotion. Why? He remembers to appreciate Matt's suffering, only to then take off and leave the poor tech wallowing in microfilm.
Out in the bullpen, Nikki reminds us of the anonymous money transfers to Brin, while Charlie's practically jumping up and down like a 5 year old needing a bathroom because he has the solution. No, not to Matt's problem, but rather why DB Cooper would risk taking all that money when every bank in America was looking for it.
So, the solution is to look for places that like American money. Now, I may not be an economist, but that is pretty much everywhere, since almost every currency judges itself against the US dollar. As this isn't about everywhere else, and the time in question is 1971 -- this must be about Vietnam and the risk-reward ratio Charlie was on about earlier, is to save someone DB Cooper loved -- like a daughter. So now that we have almost all the answers, I'd like to throw another one into the mix.
Library: Bloom is picking up where Rosencrantz and Guildenstern left off in the epic fail at surveillance detail. Till quickly loses the former Fed and heads outside. At least one person in this eppesode hasn't caught the disease of feeling sorry for or needing to defend Bloom. Although, if Till caught it, he'd be waiting for him outside. Nope, instead, Till is driving away.
Flower Shop: Nikki's back to see Brin, this time, leaving Bloom and his winning personality (a phrase which here means shithead) elsewhere. It's a wise move, as Brin willingly answers that yes, she was born in Vietnam, but no, she doesn't know who her father is.
IHOF: The hours of slogging with technology older than him, has left Matt with a few clues, and probably one hell of case of eyestrain. The first important article is the report on the death of the guy in the tree -- and how he is survived by a son. The second important article is the death notice of the dead guy's wife -- and how the son is BB.
David makes a further connection. Wesley was killed to flush out Till, and this whole thing isn't about an age-old mystery or money. It's about revenge. Together, David and Matt have figured things out, so it's time to celebrate.
Flower Shop: Nikki goes outside to fill in Colby on the events leading to Brin's arrival in the US. A soldier gave her mother a tonne of cash and that can only mean that Brin has to be Till's kid. Before any other conclusions can be reached, shots ring out, and screams follow.
There's nothing that can be done. As Nikki and Colby make it to the back of the shop, BB is pulling away, with Brin as a hostage.
IHOF/Search Montage: As half of the Fedcakes are out looking for Brin and BB, Don's musing about a case where they couldn't find one girl in one house, never mind one woman in LA.
As for how BB and Till want this to play out, a few things are clear. It was Till who called out BB -- and Brin is the only leverage BB has. The problem is that they don't know the place for the showdown, unless Charlie can hurry up and figure out all the data points.
Or, on the other hand, Bloom can make himself actually useful and realize that it's the library. Why, oh why, did you have to make yourself useful. Seriously, couldn't David or Colby have come up with the idea?
Library: As BB blusters, Till keeps him occupied by telling him what really happened to BB's father, the hijacking, and the aftermath.
The story goes like this: Till was necessary as Sawyer didn't have the planning abilities for the job. Till went along with it as there were debts that needed to be paid. In truth, all Sawyer planned to do was kill Till, the second they were on the ground, so Till had to kill Sawyer in self-defense. Plus, Daddy-dearest was a bad bad man, selling army goods and raping innocent village girls, so guess what, Brin isn't Till's daughter, but BB's sister. All Till ever tried to do was make the evils done by Sawyer, right again. He even would've taken in BB as a boy, but now that Wesley's been murdered, BB must pay.
As Till and BB come face to face, the Fedcakes, and BB's partners, reveal themselves and a tragedy of literary proportions occurs.
As the arrests take place, Till does what he did in 71 -- check and make sure Brin is all right.
Outside, Bloom finally asks a question, and, I think, is willing to hear the answer. Till did everything he did because someone needed to take responsibility, a lesson Roger Bloom should take to heart.
Yet again, in the inexplicable Bloom love fest, Colby comments that with a 50 grand reward, and credit for solving the DB Cooper hijacking, Bloom will be buying dinner. This leaves me filled to the brim with fury and confusion.
Till also offers up an explanation as to where the rest of the money went; it was donated to Brin's hometown, to allow them to rebuild. It turns out Alan's original claim that DB Cooper was a folk hero isn't so far off from the truth. Suck on that, Bloom.
In a moment of magnamity, Bloom suggests that instead of taking in Till tonight, the man voluntarily come in and give his statement the next day. While I can't totally disagree with Bloom's actions, it's another case of Bloom doing whatever Bloom wants, without consulting anyone. Just because he finally got one checkmark in the morally right column, is beside the point. At least give the Fedcakes a hint you're letting an infamous fugitive take off to the mountains to die. It's not as if they haven't let things slide for the greater good in the past.
Bloom gets one other thing right by saying the Fedcakes have plausible deniability as "DB Cooper could never have survived that jump." It's plausible because very few people would know about the cylon thing.
Math Garage: Alan and Charmita are going through all the things from the 70s that will never ever go away, as plastic and polyester at permanent fixture now in history. Speaking of polyester, Amita finds herself a great piece of vengeance for David wasting all of her time.
As Amita exits, a cloud of doom descends on the garage, or, to put it another way, a forced reconciliation scene between Bloom and Alan. Bloom gets all philosophical about being a vet, while Charlie's solution of a watergun fight of vets versus hippies sounds much, much more appealing. Both older men dismiss the brothers Eppes as either a vet or a hippie.
Sure, now that everyone's made up Bloom can't leave it be, as his toast is extremely disturbing. "To scars, those we've already earned and those that are coming." So, instead of a nice and happy family moment all I can do is panic.